starts with goodbye.

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could."
— Louise Erdrich

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are same. Following your heart should be like common sense, but oh so often we disregard what we want and choose the needs of someone else over our own. I'm not saying selfishness is the best thing by any means, but I think we are taught to ignore what we truly want in favor of making others happy. We all want to find love and safety especially in another person. But sometimes it's difficult for both people to find safety and love in eachother at the same time. Love is a difficult concept, super confusing. But when you have it and you know it's right, you just do. But when it's not right, not the right time, not the right person, not the right circumstances, you also know, but this is when following your heart seems to be dismissed. Who wants to hurt another especially when you've been in their position? So hopeful and optimistic only to be crushed in an instant. Nobody wants to be that person. But realizing what you truly want brings you and that other person one step closer to the person they're truly meant to be with. It's just difficult to see that aspect when you're being hurt or you're hurting someone. I wish I actually made sense in all of this.