shalom.

I've found that all good things must come to an end at some point. Choir included. Last night was that night. I've never been so nervous to walk into that auditorium in my entire life. My heart was racing and I was freaking out inside. I eagerly anticipated the moment the seniors would walk up the stairs to the stage to sing the Irish Blessing. Dolce finished and it was time. I tripped over Eric and Kevin in a moment of true spaciness. I regained composure and found a window on the risers. I took deep breaths. Relief in, stress out. I tried so hard not to cry, but I could feel the tears welling. When the song was over, Mrs. Evans began to call out each senior's name depending on the choir they were in. She got to Schola, going name by name, Danielle Fazio. I stepped down and took my yellow rose. I walked down the stairs to the 6th row from the back on the left side. I squeezed passed two girls, my dad, stepmom, and brothers to the one person who never missed a concert from 6th grade until now, my momma. She told me how proud of me she was and kissed my cheek, telling me she loved me. I made my way back up to the stage to stand next to Emma. I don't know why, but I looked down into the pit and my eyes met Emily's and she was crying. I couldn't hold back any longer. I cried as I watched her applaud. This is really ending.

The moment of truth came during our part of the concert. I felt like I had blanked out on every note of every song until I saw the familiar smile of Mrs. Evans right before the piano started to play. Relief in, stress out. I did give it my all, everything I had I gave that night. Mrs. Evans said we wouldn't regret it and I don't, not at all. The Alma-Mater, River in Judea, then Shalom. I gripped Em's hand harder than any other concert, once again fighting the tears. This was the end. I can't believe in 12 school days, we're done. I can't even comprehend it. This month is all about endings, everything we know suddenly coming apart. I'm not ready.