"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

Today's the day. My final freshman year finals are due and it's my last day of real estate school. This school year is coming to an end. I really don't feel like it is. Maybe that's because I didn't give my all, all semester. Something uncommon for me. It's been a struggle all semester because I've known ASU and education aren't right for me, something this blog is very familiar with. It was the atmosphere, not feeling like I belonged, the driving SUCKED, and I always felt like maybe I should have gone to NAU and I think that made me never give ASU a real shot. But this year wasn't all bad. I've had a lot of wonderful memories and became friends with so many people that I would not have met had I not come here.

I took a lot of chances and risks and made changes. I decided early that I wanted to rush, something I don't know if I regret now. Gamma Phi Beta was a wonderful experience for me. It gave me a place at ASU, where I didn't feel so lost. I met some of the greatest girls who were so warm and welcoming. Being in a sorority really is like a big family and everyone said you get out of a sorority, what you put in. I was in 100% first semester, I went to everything: the meetings, socials, philos. I got the wonderful feeling of truly being wanted when I got my Big, Jessimarie and my Twin, Stephanie. Those two girls kept me going. Jessi was always there to listen on lunch dates and keep me motivated. Stephanie was my best friend, we talked all the time, and you typically wouldn't see one of us without the other. Somewhere towards the end of the semester, after being initiated I didn't feel like I belonged and that was the hardest realization because I felt like so much time and energy and money might not have been worth it. even though my room was truly an ode to GPhiB. It just wasn't the place for me and this reflected in my lack of effort this semester. Maybe if I would've given a little more, I could've found this the right place for me and would've stayed here, but everything happens for a reason. Those girls are beautiful people and I'm glad I get to call myself a Gamma Phi Beta and say I spent some time with them.

I also had the pleasure of being part of the Music in Motion cluster first semester with other education students. I met three girls who became my best friends very quickly: Kiara, Cait, and Noelle. We clicked so well and talked about everything. They were my encouragement and shoulder for so long. They are all such great people. We had a lot of laughs together and a lot of late angry nights hating physics homework and struggling to grasp something so foreign to us. It bonded us and the rest of the group. The ten of us in all of our classes became like a little family. We got along really well and enjoyed our days together especially in that crazy music appreciation class where we never knew what crazy character we'd meet on Thursday afternoons. I miss them very much. We were always together and promised it wouldn't change this semester, but it did. Our schedules conflicted, we didn't meet up much, but they hold a special in my heart.

I think I attribute the biggest reason to staying at ASU to be Kiara. We met online prior to school starting through me finding her on the ASU Facebook app. I creeped on her, looked at her pictures, hoped we'd become friends considering we had so many classes together. We did. Her and I are so much alike. All semester we had the most random inside jokes and the biggest laughs in class. We play fighted all the time and I'm sure that's evident all over the video tapes from Music in Motion. We matched our schedules for second semester, one of the best decisions I ever made. We became the best of friends. I could always call her and be one hundred percent honest and she never judged me. She offered me advice and accepted me for the creeper I am. We had some weird nights off campus, where she got to see my life. I shared so much with her and vice versa. Not seeing her everyday, will be one of the hardest things about leaving ASU. She was there for me when nobody else was. KK, will definitely stay one of my best friends and I might cry saying goodbye to her when she leaves for San Diego for the summer, actually I probably will. She is one of the best people I've ever met and supported me through so much this year.

I cannot believe I am closing this chapter: the freshman year at ASU chapter. I didn't expect it to end so quickly, but life changes, things change. I have to follow my heart and my heart just isn't here anymore. I had a lot of wonderful memories that I won't ever take for granted. I met so many great people and I wish I would've had more time with them. It's hard to say goodbye, so I've been avoiding it. I haven't known how to leave, but time has caught up with me and summer is so close, so here it is: goodbye Arizona State University. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself and giving me the friendships I've gained and helping me realize what I really want for my life and I'm sad you don't have it here. <3 

"As we grow up there's going to be so many things we don't like. Hook ups that mean so much to one person and nothing to the other. Girls who like the same guy you like. You'll meet new people who may matter more than others, but the one guy who stays by you to the end will be the one." - Laguna Beach