"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."

In a few short weeks I'll be 19. I told Trey how I think 19 is so lame, it's like not even a cool age to turn. It's one year closer to real life which I feel like is already hitting so hard. Time is so precious and so quick. At my parent's company picnic yesterday I sat with my boo, my Schnookie, he's going to be 6 in September. SIX YEARS OLD! I remember him in a high chair and chasing me in his diaper, being my favorite subject for pictures and he's grown up to be QUITE the character before my eyes. Emily and I have been friends for four years now, she just turned 18 and graduating in a month and going to UA. Literally, it's been one of the hardest things for me to come to grips with and I still haven't. In two weeks, it will be a year since Trey looked into my eyes and asked me to be his girlfriend, now we're here. We've been to hell and back it feels like. Not our relationship, of course we've had our ups and downs, but mostly everything around us. I keep trying to press fast forward on my life, get through all this junk, like in 13 Going on 30. I wanna see where I'll be in five years, ten years, even one year will suit me just fine. Sam wrote about it too, but it's like it's SO hard to live in the present. I'm anticipating so much, but I seriously have to be grateful for the time I have right now.

Today I stumbled upon a Tumblr post. It hit me hard. It's from a submission based tumblr called f***yeahlove, where people share stories and pictures of love. Let me share it with you:
"A real cute short love story; By: Gerald Fermin
Today is April 18th 2010. Three years ago I was in an enchanting yet abstract relationship. Through this relationship (like all relationships) my girlfriend and I went through trial and error, but like all problems there is a solution. 3 years ago today, I told her to write me a letter dating it three years from now. She asked, "why?" I told her just in case things don't work out, we still have some sort of humble memorization of eachother. As I'm typing this blog, I hold in my hand the letter she has written me, although we promised each other to open it on April 22nd 2010, I have the temptation to read our past
and present and possibly future. We've been separated for quite some time now, it's been months since I've last heard from her. It's been years since I last saw her and it's only been minutes since I last thought about her. I know she's with another person now, that's how we ended our relationship, she met someone that past my personal traits and I don't blame her one bit, if it's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. We did make a promise though, on April 22nd 2010, we're suppose to meet somewhere and open our letters written for each other, together. I have 4 days to hear from her, the countdown begin. 
P.S I wonder if she still has the letter I wrote for her."

Because I'm a creep, I found his tumblr. There was no mention of them ever meeting up and it broke my heart a little bit. I was rooting for him, for them. I know real life isn't a fairytale. It just gives me some perspective. People aren't always meant to last forever. I can't even count how many times I've had a "best friend forever." There's only been a few that have truly stood the test of time. Boys, oh boys, I've gone through every flavor and kind and type and blah blah blah, you know blog. Life just changes. People just, they go away. I wrote once about life being one big play with different scenes in different acts and how some characters just make a brief appearance center stage with you and others become main characters and truly change the course of the story. I don't wanna forget these people. Like Gerald, I've decided to write letters. One for each person that has truly changed me in a big way, so that no matter what happens to our relationship tomorrow, next year or fifteen years from now, they'll always know they were a part of making me, me. It a little bit freaks me out that some of these people that I so rely on, just like Gerald did with his mystery ex, might forget about you in only three years. I don't wanna lose these people, not without a fight anyway.

These moments, these days we're given are so precious. It's so easy to just stay in bed and roll over and get on your laptop everyday, but I don't know if I wanna remember this time as me being a lazy slob, even though I totally have been. I've been trying to enjoy these moments. The Tuesday night Glee/Lost/AI nights with the mommas, dancing in Trey's room to country songs and singing them to each other, the twenty hour "I'm so tired, but I can't stop talking to you" life conversations on facebook with Sam, the in between class calls to Alex when I just need to vent, making fun of my sister all day long and finding texts from last night and thinking OMG that's so us, and just being silent and taking in life. Because it really is so amazing. It's the most perfect gift, even when it's rough because you'll be thankful for those times too.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

(weheartit.com)