"You are going forward toward something great. I am on the way with you and therefore I love you.”

If you're a frequent reader or at least have read the posts from a month or two ago you'd know that I'm not happy where I am in life school wise or career wise. I planned to drop out of college and apply for a six month internship at the LA Dream Center. That's falling through fast because of finances and you're required to be 21.  I've had a real internal struggle about where I should be and what I should do for the rest of my life. I'm indecisive and I always have been. I was one of those little girls who wanted to be a teacher one day, a princess the next, and a ballerina the day after that. Senior year, I thought I wanted to study teaching at NAU. It seemed perfect for me even though my heart was really in a big city with seasons and cute shopping and busy streets. I settled on ASU and set out to study elementary education only to once again find flaws and disappointments. I complain everyday about driving, the weirdos, the stupid classes, the driving, Tempe, everything. Why should I complain if this is what I wanted?  Because it's not what I wanted. It's what I settled for. I have a problem with settling. In all areas of my life I believe I deserve mediocre, so I settle.

 I'm SICK of settling. I'm sick of crying to Trey about my future. I'm done taking online career/personality tests. I'm not going to settle for what I don't want. I want passion because with passion there is drive and with drive there is success. I sound like a lame brochure for some life seminar, but seriously. I set out on a quest to figure out what I enjoy, things that can span into a career. Writing. I couldn't be a writer because I write on my own time, without deadlines, or people hassling me. Painting. I paint to relax, not to stress myself out and plus I'm not very good at it. Haha. Shopping. I love creating outfits, picking out articles of clothing and matching them or mismatching them together, I love fashion magazines and reading about trends and designers. Yes, I switched my major. :) Fashion Design. I will indeed be dropping out of ASU and starting at MCC in the summer, but MCC is okay with me. I'll probably try and car pool with Alex if he stays here for Fall. I honestly haven't been this excited for something in SUCH a long time. I can't wait to start sketching and sewing and creating art. I'm sad I won't be in San Fran, NYC, or LA for school, but I've heard MCC has a great program and I don't think this is settling because it's actually what I want for once in my academic life. 

I'm very stoked and I'm mega enjoying my first college spring break. I'm in Colorado with my family spending half the time in Denver and the other half in Estes Park, a quaint little town outside of Boulder in the Rockies. It's beautiful in the snow and it's given me so much time to think and relax and I love it. I'm so happy.