“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.”

"Losing your hearts desire is tragic, but gaining it? It's all you can hope for. This year i wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world." - One Tree Hill

Ironically I'm ending the year with a One Tree Hill quote, which for about three quarters of the year was my favorite show. The quote is also perfect. Tumblr always gives me THE best quotes when I need to blog and I felt it necessary to blog due to the fact that it is the final day of 2009, a year I think I'm glad to put me behind me. I've changed so much. A year ago today I was hoping and praying for a new beginning and fresh start. With the wrong person. I did wish for love. I wished for love that was all wrong and unattainable and it hurt so so bad. I kept holding on to something that wasn't there and wasn't right. I tried to replace it with other people who told me I was pretty until I realized they were flawed too. I also was rejected, by the one person I thought would really fill me. Note to readers: don't throw yourself at anyone who only makes you an option. I think I only got through the first half of the year because of two people. Two people I thought I had lost forever. 

Emily and Rachel. They picked me up in my lowest moments, they were always there to heal the hurt, give me the laughter I needed, and be the sisters I never had. I don't know how I lasted so long without them. They were my saving grace in my hardest moments and looking back today I couldn't do it alone and don't think I ever can again. 

This year also brought so many new faces to my life, people who truly impacted me. First and foremost, Trey. I blog about him a lot because he is so much of a part of me that I don't feel whole when I'm not in his arms or kissing his lips. Falling for him was one of the easiest things I've ever done. He also got me on my feet and made me believe in love again.  I feel like I finally found my other half in male form. He completes me in ways that I thought only Em and Rach could do. Graduation brought the craziest summer of my life. I wouldn't even know where to begin, so I just won't. :) ASU. Being in college has changed me so much, even though I'm still at home. I never in a million years thought I'd join a sorority, now one of the best decisions of my life. I also never thought I'd pass physics. I thank those three girls who became my best friends away from home. I keep thinking to myself let's get 2009 gone, but I feel nostalgic. So much has happened and given me such new clear views. I made mistakes, I learned, I dreamed, I hoped. I wouldn't change 2009 at all because I wouldn't be here today, so thankful for my life and the people in it, those who kept me strong, hopeful, and especially those who brought me back to reality. So here's to 2010, a new decade and another year to figure out who God wants me to be.