california.

I had hoped to blog while on the beach in California, but never got around to it. Too many baywatch pictures and the enjoyment of the cold Pacific waves crashing at feet. I needed a few days for everything to sink in anyway. This past weekend was by far one of the best weekends of my life. I'm still on such a high from it all. I decided I'd rather not give a day by day recap of everything we did and the many many inside jokes, check the pictures & comments on facebook for those haha. :) I'd much rather explain the significant impact it had on me.

I have spent all four years of high school looking for a place, a place where I fit. I think that's what all teenagers do. They want somewhere they belong. For awhile my place was with Casey, with his friends, his group. I blended, I didn't fit. Badminton wasn't my place either. I enjoyed it, but I clashed with the people. Choir definitely never felt like my place. I was never super musical, not so much a diehard choir kid. I met Emily there and we fit together, but were never truly accepted into the room. I was judged and nobody liked me. I felt like I didn't belong. Since sophomore year when I joined high school choir yearning for the experiences of middle school choir, I was thoroughly disappointed. I was an outsider, quiet and reserved. Even more so this year, Emily and I consistently talked about how hard it was to sit in a room with glaring eyes and unwelcome faces. I dreaded coming to class every day and wished so bad to be out of high school altogether, hoping that in college I'd finally find a group of people.

So this weekend I anticipated a lot of Best Friend time with Em, a lot of fun, a lot of pictures, but just us. I remember what a struggle it was just to find two more people willing to room with us. (Mo Mo & Kristen) That's why I expected it would just be us two and it was...on the first night. Those next two days on the beach, at Medieval Times, at the competition, and at Disneyland, I truly met and grew closer with people I had barely even spoken to all year, people like me and Emily, but different. We laughed and talked and ate and took hundreds of pictures together, all knowing this would be a weekend we would all treasure. I clicked instantly with them: Emma, Mo Mo, Lacie, Justice, Kristen. We enjoyed the company of eachother. I was nervous about what would happen on Monday, when we returned to that room that we all occupied during 3rd period. We had spent almost three days together filled with high's of winning and low's of disagreements. I was so shocked. Hugs all around, laughter, hilarious stories about running from hobos, baby mamas, and screaming randomly. I couldn't believe how much I did fit in that room, I belonged there and nowhere else. I'm so so thankful for that weekend, that trip, those people, and those memories. :)