"It seems there is something about anonymity which brings out the worst in us."

This post has been long been in the making, probably for close to a year, maybe a little less. Not physically being typed, but all the thoughts have been swirling around in my head for quite some time. I don't know what is so appealing about the promise of anonymity. Maybe it gives us the courage to speak our mind in a tough situation, or to bash someone we don't like, or to express the admiration for someone that doesn't even know we exist. But as long they never find out it's us, we can say anything we want without fear. This lead to the obsession on myspace a few years ago with "truth boxes" and now formspring.

Formspring is for questions. Their motto: ask questions, give answers, learn more about your friends. I rarely get asked actual questions, just statements and accusations, I'm typically not giving answers, just defending myself, and yes, I do learn more about my friends and my apparent enemies because of the comments I get. I've answered 104 "questions" to date. I've gotten through about two pages of mine. I'm up to 19 mean comments about me. These are the ones I've answered. I've deleted most of them. Most attack my personality and my relationship with Trey. Some people admit they don't even know me, but they hate everything they've heard about me.

I don't really know how I come across as this horrible person. I'm strong willed. I don't take shit from people. But I'm sensitive. I read these mean comments at least 5 or 6 times a week, if not once daily. I try to let them go, but I just can't. I'm not the only one. Every one of my friends who has one has had problems with the comments they've received anonymously. This obviously isn't a new thing, the obsession with saying things behind the safety of a computer screen, because I've dealt with anonymous comments for a long time on here, but I just don't get it. I just want to live my life. I just want to be out of the drama of high school.

I want to start over. I so badly wish to move away where people don't know my name, where they haven't heard a story or a rumor about me, where I'm free to live without a mask or a facade of not caring about what people say. It's just, unattainable. I started by deactivating my formspring. Nobody will have an outlet to outwardly talk shit about me on. I'm not over it. I wish I could say I was, but it kills me from the inside out. I'm starting a revolution, a mini one. I want people to grow up and say these things like 'take trey off your leash and stop bein an emotional bitch' or 'i've noticed you're getting a little comfortable and packed on a little weight... i really hope you bounce back to what your normal weight was like.' or how about this ringer: 'fuck you, how is that for a question.' Yes, that's the end of the crap that is formspring and the end of hiding behind your anonymity. Stand up and say it to my face. It will hurt less because we were probably never friends in the first place.