So I a little bad failed at posting everyday, but I'm gonna try and finish tonight even though physics and math beckon me. :(
After his eyes met mine and he didn't even say anything I wondered how badly I must have looked, but he told me I looked gorgeous. We danced the whole night despite the 6 foot gap in between us thanks to my poofy dress. I loved the way he held me and touched my hair. One of the final dances was a slow one and my head found a perfect place on his shoulder. Oh how I wanted him to kiss me every time our eyes met, but it never happened. We were both way too nervous, but that night was the prom all girls dream of. Maybe not going with the perfect dream date, but finding the perfect partner on the dance floor and realizing true feelings. It was a long weekend afterwards where I thought I was in a daze like it never happened, but it did because Trey and I talked the whole time even through Senior Ditch Day. I was even more nervous for class on Tuesday not knowing how things would change.
I walked in and there he was smiling brightly at me. We were silent, but I knew everything was different. Two of our friends told our math teacher that we were now dating even though technically we weren't. We started to hang out after school and before I went to work. The first time we did, we kissed and I never had I felt such electricity with a guy. He made me want him more and more. We started insanely flirting in class. We pushed our desks together, did our worksheets together (or didn't do them), we typed cute messages on each other's papers and calculators, and giggled a lot. He made me blush and I made him smile ear to ear. His scent made me high all the time and I loved that I could still smell him when he wasn't around. (He smelled amazing for the record, this Bath and Body cologne made me weak in the knees). It was a little less than a month from prom till the day he looked at me and asked me to be his girlfriend, May 13th. I said yes and thus began our journey. :)
The next day I had my final choir concert, a night that was going to be very emotional for me. He and Hunter came and Trey had roses for me and we went to McDonald's with M&M. My best friends liked him and that was good enough for me. Trey was a true gentlemen. He always held doors open for me and never let me pay. Anyone who thinks chivalry is dead has never met my boyfriend. The rest of the school year was perfection. We went to lunch often, spent every moment we could together laughing and smiling. We were seated one person apart during graduation and sharing our high school graduation was incredible. May brought all kinds of beautiful firsts including the start of a wonderful summer after grad night.
Both of us worked on the weekdays for the most part, but we made time for each other. My parents didn't find out about Trey until my birthday when he bought me this beautiful Juicy necklace that was a promise ring for me. He formally met my parents at Cheesecake that night and they instantly took to him. Our love was growing stronger. We went on our first date to the Keg and dancing on Appleby, my favorite place in the world now, this dirt road near Hamilton. It was romantic dancing to our song, "I'll be Seeing You," while the sun set behind us. I wasn't used to these amazing romantic gestures, but was surely grateful for Trey. He not only gave me the happy moments, but during these months I struggled a lot with other parts of my life and he never once strayed. He offered his ear for me and words of kindness and hope, something he still continues to help me with now.
The summer was incredible. I could go on and on with memories and moments of bonfires, movies, songs and what not, but summer didn't last forever. College was quickly approaching and we didn't realize how it would impact our relationship. Trey and I had a relatively easy going relationship. We never fought, ever. We were happy all the time or we were coping with other issues together and it made it us stronger. But our relationship was never in a bad place, we were each other's everything. College changed that drastically. Even though we only went to schools about 20 miles apart and still lived at home, it was the hardest not seeing each other everyday. We faced issues of disconnection where it felt like we didn't have chemistry and phone calls were silence in between classes and band and the sorority. Finding our own outlets was good for us individually, but it put a real strain on us. We didn't know how to cope. This had never happened before. It was evident, but it was hard to even talk about. Issues of trust and forever made us question this, but we agreed nothing would stop us from continuing on this path.
Soon enough everything got easier, because we made it easier. We made some questionable decisions school wise to accommodate our relationship, decisions of choosing us over homework and class I won't regret. We would drive around aimlessly, laughing, eating more McDonald's than I can even count, we sang to songs on the radio together, and soon enough it felt like everything was better than ever. We approached our five month anniversary and I had no idea what Trey was planning. It always felt like it was much longer than a few months. Trey had elaborately brought me to all the places that had history for us and gave me a rose for each. It was wonderful. The effort was the greatest gift I'd ever received. I think this past month though has brought a lot of change. We're both dealing with outside issues, but what has kept us together is using each other as a rock and realizing through it all we're here. We've been through some scares, some loss of friendships, lots of happiness, and the realization that people are behind us, and those that aren't are jealous and wish they had this. We've been through a lot in six months. I know I've been criticized for moving too fast with Trey, falling too hard, but it was never something I could control. This is real and I'm so glad I have him. I really am. He gave me the best anniversary present ever, he gave me forever (&). :) We spent our anniversary this past Friday going to Brio at the San Tan mall. I got all dolled up like I love and wore heels (TORTURE). We laughed and talked about our memories and about life like we were an old married couple. It was lovely. Afterwards I changed into a skirt and tanktop and Trey bought me a 3.50 gold ribbon ring and Leopard Slippers from F21. I got into jeans and my slippers and we got amazing Coldstone and I strutted into Coldstone wearing my awesome freaking slippers. We went home and watching Across the Universe and I fell asleep on his lap. It was perfect. Just like us together. We are imperfect apart filled with pain, bad memories, and loss, but together we are perfect full of dreams, hope, wishes, and love. We have plans that I'm so excited for. He lets me be me no matter how crazy I really am he loves me anyway and vice versa. I know we're sometimes annoyingly cute on facebook and twitter with our Cardboard love posts and our profile hacking, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love every part of what makes our relationship: our songs, our inside jokes, our obsession with dinosaurs, the way we think the same things at the same time, the way we rub off on each other, the way he knows my order at every fast food place, the way I know when to stop him from doing stupid stuff and vice versa, the way we can't tell who's straw is who's anymore, the way he kisses me, the way he lets me shift with him, the way he does everything he can to give me what I want, the way he really loves me and everyone sees it.
I love you Trey, my Almond Joy. Thank you for six months and thank you for giving me a lifetime to prove to you that I deserve you, even though that probably won't be enough. I can't wait, every day we're closer to everything and it excites me. Don't ever stop making me laugh and smile because I'll never stop laughing and smiling even when we're teasing each other. Xoxo, Danielle Nicole :)
“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.”
“Good relationships balance over time. This means that at any particular point in time, the relationship may appear quite unbalanced: One partner may be more nurturing; one may be more needy; one may be providing all the financial support, etc. But if both partners are loving, understanding, giving, dedicated and flexible, then the relationship can handle all kinds of ups and downs, and still be strong, exciting and, yes, romantic. The best relationships are well balanced. Not a delicate balance; not a static balance- but a dynamic ever-changing balance.”
“Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first, real, kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises. Love is not a fairytale. Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night, because you can’t go to sleep mad at each other. It’s about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because you care so deeply for them. It’s not about buying them gifts, but it’s about leaving them little presents here and there, just to remind them that you are constantly thinking about them. Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things. Love is rare and special, but should not be treated as if it will break. Love needs to be thrown around and beat up a little bit, worn in, but not worn down. Love needs to be a comfortable feeling, a place to go when NO ONE else in the world can relate. A safe place, where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, you will still be… loved.”
“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
“There are also sorts of experiences that we can’t really put a name to. The birth of a child, for one. Or the death of a parent. Falling in love. Words are like nets - we hope they’ll cover what we mean, but we know they can’t possibly hold that much joy, or grief, or wonder. Finding God is like that too. If it’s happened to you, you know what it feels like. But try to describe it to someone else - and language only takes you so far.”
No comments:
Post a Comment