"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you." -SM
"Albert Camus once wrote, “Blessed are the hearts that can bend, for they shall never be broken.” But I wonder, if there's no breaking, then there's no healing. And if there's no healing, then there's no learning. And if there's no learning, then there's no struggle. But struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?" - OTH
I said over and over and over again about how I "moved on". But this morning I woke up and realized it was true, finally. I'm done with you. In my head you're the person I used to be in love with, you're not even remotely that person anymore. Your flaws and ways of hurting me are even more prominent now. I thought just finding someone new would solve it, get you out of my mind, it didn't. Time healed it. I'm not in love with you anymore, at all. I won't think about what you're doing or who you're with. You will be gone physically in a matter of two months and I honestly cannot wait. I think I credit the realization in part to Lizzie, if not for you we wouldn't even be friends. She and I have our mini talking sessions about how ridiculous you truly are and I felt ridiculous for even giving you the time of day in a few texts. I deserved better. I know that now after having everything plus more. You held me back from reaching my full potential as a person, but I apparently helped you because now you have tons of songs about me. I'm in state of euphoria that I don't think will ever end because I'm not in love with you or even the person you used to be ANYMORE :) I'll never forget you, but I'm okay with that because you were my first and that will never change, but the first usually isn't your only as I've gladly come to see.
"Yes, losing your hearts desire is tragic but gaining your hearts desire? It's all you can hope for, this year I wished for love... to immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted and if having that is tragic then give me tragedy, because I wouldn't give it back for the world."
3 comments:
Renewal and healing, such a blessed and wonderful thing!!
hey youknowho.... i have no idea who you are but i'd really appreciate not putting my girlfriend down... we are both adults and we are BOTH happy together I love her and the only thing she is putting me through is pure happiness so if you're going to be "looking out" for me please talk to me about your feelings and not anonymously post them on the internet thanks
I'm so proud of how you've moved on. I remember your earlier posts and your way of thinking seems so much different now; happier. I'm so glad you found someone that loves you and vice versa! You deserve to have good things happen to you and no one else should let you think different. :)
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