astonishing.

Thank you so much for being such a safety. It hasn't even been a month yet. (June 14th) But I knew you were different. Yeah, I said that innumerable times. They all had their flaws, so do you. But I love you for your flaws and your beauty. They all were not worth it. There were things I couldn't handle making a relationship with. I went through more guys in these past eight months (wow.) than I had before I met Casey. I was looking for a fit, not a creeper, a stalker, an obsessive weirdo, someone who did drugs, someone who didn't feel I was worth paying for once, someone who reminded me of a vampire, someone who couldn't communicate, and someone who didn't care enough. There weren't that many, but the 8 or so had those mixture of those qualities. I know you guys all out there think this is just another temporary BS happiness entry, but I don't believe it is. For once.

These past few days of you being gone have absolutely drove me crazy. I keep feeling like there's something missing and there is: you. I think we're like Ellie and Carl from Up. You're quieter than me. I tend to always have something to say and some big crazy ideas that I want you to embark on with me. I know I've been told I rush into things, and I do. I follow my heart 100% and that usually involves little to know brain activity, but this is truly one of my only healthy relationships ever. You basically get me and I love how comfortable we both are. You say the right thing at the right moment and it always makes me aww like out loud. You're always there when I slip and literally grab me and save me from falling even though I didn't realize you were paying attention. I love the way you call me baby girl and hippie. I knew exactly what I was gonna write in your yearbook, but that doesn't mean you don't leave me speechless 90% of the time with your sweet gestures, words, and love for the crazy person I am. :) Thank you ET. I can't wait to dance to "I'll Be Seeing You" in the street with you tomorrow night.

I've come to realize that I don't only blog for me, but I have this neverending hope to make everyone happy even if I can't be happy myself. I just want the best for the people I love, even the readers of this blog. I want them to find hope and realize they can move on and be happy like it IS possible. Just wait it out kids, you'll find your own Trey. I promise promise.

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." - Karen (age 7)
It's true. :)