Saturday, February 21

mama

I'm very frustrated right now. Mostly this frustration is aimed at my mother. Her and I have the best relationship like out of my parents. She's the only one who cares in the least bit about me and what's going on in my life. After the breakup I tried desperately to build bridges her and I never had. I told her things. Somethings she found out against my control. We were getting closer because of it. I craved that relationship with her that she had with my brother his whole life. I would tell her when I would stop talking to certain friends or when we'd fight, not realizing how she would slowly mold this person, MY friend, into this "bad influence." I'm talking for absolutely NO reason besides the fact that at the moment we were fighting.

My mom doesn't quite comprehend high school. Friends fight and drift, but if you're true friends you'll almost always talk again. I guess it isn't just the fighting for some, but the stupid choices they made um, let's see, 4 years ago!! Ridiculous. That's probably not the worst. She tends to think people don't change like good girls actually can become more risky crazy girls that I don't even talk to anymore, so she would trust them with my life in a second, but someone I'm extremely close to she can't trust because she's friends with other people I don't particularly care for.

I guess the most hurtful part of all is that she saw my senior project and just criticized my choices of the people who I decided to include, saying this person had too many pictures and do you want people to think you're still close and how can you put them in there after (insert stupid reason here)? You get the picture. She didn't say she liked it. She didn't it really shows how much time and effort you put into this. No positives. Just criticisms. I got tears, but they weren't from her. They were mine after she told me how much she hated it. They hurt so much worse with my strep.

3 comments:

Rachel Dawson said...

danielle baby, i'm so sorry :(
its crazy how EXACTLY i can relate to this though. my parents are JUST like that. all i ever seem to get is criticism and critiques even if i'm doing everything i can and more just to get their approval. i feel like i tell them everything and all they can do is question my motives or my relationships and never accept that what i'm doing is what i'm doing for a reason. i'm with you on this one, 100%. it sucks. especially when you put so much effort and emotion into something and you get nothing positive or uplifting in response. i get you girl. i'm so sorry you have to deal with it too. but just know you are NOT the only one.

Anonymous said...

Danielle, I thought your project was beautiful and I am sorry your mom did not give you that. She's a mama bear thinking she is protecting you thinking these people hurt you so why have them in. What you are showing though, is that these people had a a huge impact on you and you are and to become. Please don't be to harsh on her, like I said, she is mama bear trying to protect her very precious cub. I am so glad you I can learn form all of you to remind me how best to treat and speak to my own kids. Love you!

Rachel Dawson said...

beth is so right. our parents are looking out for us and trying to protect us, just sometimes we misunderstand it by the way they go about it. i, too, thought your project was incredible and beautiful. I'M so proud of it, and of you. it was incredible. i love you brunette bestie :)