the present.

"Life's funny like that. once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong." -Little Black Book

I did let go. Things are changing, moving in a better direction for me, and I couldn't be happier. I've been giving things a chance and being patient. For me, that's a huge deal. Apparently, I'm an optimist. Rachel said so. I never thought of myself that way, but I guess in the case of the stuff I've gone through, I've stayed pretty positive.

At Small Group on Tuesday, we talked about seasons and what season we thought our life was in right that moment. Winter. It is winter, but inside of me, I'm cold, the trees are lifeless, and I feel almost lifeless, almost. Beth said if you're winter, don't worry because your spring is coming. I think I feel my Spring coming.

New things are blooming like my new job as a math tutor. Today was my first day, but let me tell you, it brought me great joy when one of them finally understood and there was no longer a block. It made me so happy that I couldn't help but smile. I think this is the beginning of proof that education is the profession for me. College things are winding down, to a point. I accepted my offer to NAU and my parents gave me the $300 deposit. It was a beautiful shock. I'm in a good place right now. I'm content and happy and optimistic.

I'm planning to enjoy my next 5 months before I graduate, taking in every moment, living life like everyday is my last, not wasting a second being sad if I don't have to, because each day is a precious gift that's why it's called the present. :) (SUPER LAME I KNOW) ahah