"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do the same for them."

“Life will break you.Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either. For solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love.You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ~ Louise Erdrich

I really wanna know what has happened to me. College has changed me in the few short months. I have become more of a pessimist than I have ever been. I give up almost instantly and complain about everything nonstop. Some days I just don't feel like going to class, so guess what, I don't go. I procrastinate and finish assignments minutes before the due date or just don't do them at all. It scares me. Yes I practically got paid to go to college, but still I'm wasting this gift that so few on earth are given and I'm so careless about it. I don't know when I stopped having goals, motivation, and drive and just being me. I want that me back. This stress is over powering me and usually around this time it would be Fall Break and I'd have my almost 3 weeks of freedom, but I don't. College, humph. Maybe it's just me who is in a slacker slump. I feel so fulfilled socially for once, but of course it doesn't match up with my studying habits. Blah. I don't even know what to blog anymore. I feel like I get criticized or judged for every little thing I say (MY OPINIONS). If you don't have anything nice to say, DON'T SAY IT AT ALL. Stupid people are the last thing I need right now.

I need a break, that's what I really need. I'm sick of crying and being self conscious and complaining and slacking and everything. I want to have free time, I want to understand my classes, I want to have money so I don't have to work, I want to get the guts to quit my job, I want my sister, I want time, I want my life back.

If you're gonna comment saying I'm a complainer, thanks I know captain obvious and don't comment because you're an idiot and I don't need you even reading my blog.