i used to be highly addicted to live journal in eighth grade, my last year of middle school. sometimes i still go back and read my posts, see my thoughts, how i used to be. now i'm in my last year of high school and 8th grade feels like yesterday despite the fact that i talk to almost nobody from those days now besides the casual myspace comment saying, hey whats up. i want to remember this year, years from now by having the opportunity to read this as many times as i want.
tomorrow, 1/4 of my senior year will be over. my senior year, my final year not paying for my education, not living on my own, not being solely responsible for myself. i'm scared as hell. in last than a year, i'll be out of this house, thankfully. but i can't imagine not seeing the people i've grown so accustomed to seeing everyday of my life like my mom, charles, and schnookie. it scares me even more that i could lose the best friend i've ever had. we'll be separated by more than just 17 miles, more like 160.8 miles. if we can grow apart in 17 miles, i cannot even imagine how crappy i'll feel when it's 160.8. thank god for casey reed, the love of my life coming up with me :). that doesn't change the fact that i'm freaking scared. i'm not ready yet. but i don't have to be. i have time. when the time comes, i'll think it came too soon, but i'll be ready then.
i could definitely get used to not seeing my dad and angela though because those two are out to ruin my life. i like to think they love and care about me, but every day i get further and further from that thought. i hope one day they change my opinion. so until that day, i'm going to let them stomp all over me and i'll be at their call like right now, while i'm babysitting matthew.
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